Heaven is….

Where the police are British,
The cooks are Italian,
The mechanics are German,
The lovers are French and
It’s all organised by the Swiss.

Hell is …

Where the police are German,
The cooks are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The lovers are Swiss and
It’s all organised by the Italians

I wonder what is the current version of the same joke after seeing Home Office declared that -

The new set of rules, under section 76 of the 2008 (Counter-Terrorism) Act and section 58A of the 2000 Act, will target anyone who ‘elicits or attempts to elicit information about [members of armed forces] … which is of a kind likely to be useful to a person committing or preparing an act of terrorism’.

A person found guilty of this offence could be liable to imprisonment for up to 10 years, and to a fine.

In the mean time I found a video-

Google logo is one of the most recognisable logo in the world now. The logos are as querky as the brand. Google always represent themselves as they keeping pace with the time and the current events. Here are the logos Google used throughout the year of 2008. There are few logos on the below are not Google’s official Logos. Can you spot them from the list?

Incoming search terms:

• Logo MAMUN

Steps

1. Sign up for a blog for yourself. Be careful when you choose a name for your blog. Think about the bigger picture. Who are your target audience? You can have free sites or if you prepare to spend few quid per month you can have a paid site. Some free sites are WordPress.com, Blogger.com, Typepad.com, LiveJournal.com and many others. Also you can get a paid site where you will have more freedom. i.e. Showing advert, unique look of your site etc.
2. Decide about a subject/character you are going to write about. It can be anything from a new “Harry Potter” to “War and Peace”. The most important thing is- would you be interested to write about the same thing after few years? You have to consider the time frame. There is nothing out there called “instant success”. You have to be resilient. Stick to what you have been doing.
3. Most of the “experts” advise a newbie writer to research the market first and to decide what to write about. My advise is exactly opposite. Just write what you really enjoy. Forget about target audience. If you have a good plot, character and quality writing, you will see you will create a new audience. If you just target the audience for money and success, it will be another “project” among so many others. If J K Rowling would target the audience first, Harry Potter would never be created. You have to have trust what you are doing.
4. Do not look for readers first. Keep writing and keep posting regularly. You will get regular readers gradually.
5. Expose yourself as well as your site. You should spend sometime to reading other like minded writers work too. Don’t forget to leave a comment after reading someone else’s blog if you think it is right things to do.

Tips

• Read as much as you can. Follow the same genre you are writing about.
• Ask friends, family or likeminded people to give you feedback.
• Always carry a notepad and pen. Keep notes if you have a new idea. Believe me or you will forget it the next day.
• Think! Think as much as you can for new plot. Use the notepad.
• To improve your writing get help from this blog. Daily Writing Tips: Fiction Writing

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Steps

1. Remember that all great speeches, and even some not so great, require shape. The old saying is hard to beat: “Tell them what you will tell them; tell them; then tell them what you told them.”
2. “Shake hands with the audience.” You have something worthy of being said. Former Ambassador Robert Strauss used to begin his addresses like this: “Before I begin this speech, I have something to say.” This passage was always composed in a style that enabled him to reclaim a powerful tone for the instructive portion of his remarks. Put on your smile; calm your nerves, then get to work. You may want to start with a smashing one-liner or an anecdote.
3. Rise to the occasion. In other words, feel passionately about your topic. Recall old Uncle Ned’s tear jerking toast at the wedding? Even ordinary folks can deliver great moments of oratory if they rise to the occasion. Make sure the audience feels how important the topic is to you, so that they begin to think about why they should care.
4. Build clear and sensible transitions (segues) from one thought to the next. The biggest mistake speakers and writers make is to assume people will follow their leaps of logic. Spell out to the audience when you are taking a turn in your thoughts with phrases like: “As an example of this” or “This brings us to the larger problem of,” and so forth.
5. Focus. A good speech does not need to start out great and stay great to the finish. It engages the listeners. It makes allowances for a dip in interest in the middle. Then, it gathers anticipation for its key moment. John Stuart Mill, the political economist, defined the orator’s art this way: “Everything important to his purpose was said at the exact moment when he had brought the minds of his audience into the state most fitted to receive it.”
6. Add purpose. A speech should be made for a good reason. To inspire, to instruct, to rally, and to lead are noble purposes. To sound off, to feed a speaker’s ego, to flatter, or to intimidate are not.
7. Know your theme. If you cannot answer the question “what do you want to say?” in a single, declarative sentence, do yourself and the audience a favor: decline the invitation.
8. Write with one particular person in mind, someone you actually know. This helps you to keep the message real and personable. This helps you anticipate reactions and keep your language down to earth.
9. Deliver the goods. Delivery is the essence of eloquence. It requires practice, discipline, drill, and timing. You can be your own trainer. As you develop self-confidence, you put the audience at ease, or make them sit up. Your eye is in contact with the people, not the page. If looking at people makes you nervous, look between them, at the clock on the back wall, over somebody’s shoulder – as long as it seems you’re making eye-contact. Your professional passion is contagious. Use gestures to emphasize points, and make sure your tone of voice and facial expressions are appropriate for the topic.
10. Illustrate. Illustrations can come in the form of slides, visuals, stories, jokes, or dramatic gestures. Your goal is to make some portion of the speech stick to the mind of the audience–if someone asks about it afterwards, they should say something like, ‘I enjoyed the story Tom told about his sister,’ or ‘The pie chart of this year’s earnings was helpful.’
11. Give your audience a sense of completion. Bring them back to the beginning, but with a louder spirit. This can be done by starting the last paragraph with a quiet, declarative sentence; it should build in a series of semicolons; it should employ the puissance of parallelism; it should reach to the farthest rafter and reverberate with the action and passion of our time, and, forgetting all else, it should connect with, no, grab each listener by his or her lapels and shout to their hearts and souls to say, “This is the end of the best speech you will ever have the good fortune to experience!”

Tips

• You may experience instant, sustained applause punctuated by the occasional “Bravo” and the ever-present pundit punk who wrinkles his brow and wonders aloud, “But what was really said?”
• Each person in the audience experiences your speech as an individual. Speak to them as individuals, by using words like “you” and “your” instead of “all of you” or “everybody here”; it is more direct and compelling, and will engage each member of your audience, whether it be five or five thousand.
• Focus your attention on one individual at a time, just as you would in normal, everyday conversation. This will help to relax you, and mitigate the fear of speaking to very large crowds. Shift your focus around the room, to different sections of your audience. By including every area, even when you might not be able see them individually, each person will feel as if you are speaking directly to them, not at them.
• Most speakers deal with the eye contact issue by twisting their body from side to side. They look from side to side as if watching a tennis match. Don’t make this mistake. Make eye contact using comfortable, natural body and head movements with purposeful glances at different areas.
• Smile from time to time but refrain from grinning like an idiot.
• Consider your audience’s frame of reference. A simple way to do it is to think about: Who’s in the audience? Why are they here? And after hearing your speech what’s the first thing you would like them to do or say to someone else perhaps?
• Don’t read your speech. Speak it from memory. You may miss a couple minor points (and even a major one), but if you can’t remember it long enough to say it, why would anyone else remember long enough to act on it?
• If you are not a seasoned speaker, it is fine to read your speech as long as your delivery isn’t stilted and amateurish like a kid reading from a textbook. You may not have time for memorization. If not, don’t be embarrassed to read your speech. Getting your message out counts the most. Look up and smile from time to time to let the audience know you haven’t forgotten them.
• Almost everyone can remember an early experience when they were obsessed with memorization and suddenly drew a blank. It can derail a speech. Be comfortable with your subject and have the bullet points on a few 3×5 cards. Relax and don’t be anal about flawless delivery; people probably won’t hold it against you.
• Use a dramatic pause to emphasize an important point. Stop talking for a second and look as if you are pondering your next words.
• Vary the speed of delivery and the loudness of your voice. Talk faster and louder when moving on to a new thought. Speak slowly and lower your voice for emphasis.
• Act as if you lived for this one speech your whole life and give it your all
• You can fight off stage fright and fear of failure by knowing your subject. Having a commanding knowledge of your topic will show in you, just like not knowing your topic will show-even more so.
• Practice your speech with someone else if possible, and ask him/her for input.
• People say “Thank you” to signal that, yes, the speech is over. It is a very weak ending to a speech. You really shouldn’t thank the audience, any more than they should thank you. You have given the audience a significant experience and they have given you their polite (or enthusiastic) attention. Call it even.
• Let the final, forceful sentence be the natural ending of your speech. Signal the end simply by smiling and stepping away from the lectern or podium. If you didn’t use a lectern (always a good idea), smile and wave, take a bow, or move to shake hands with someone to signal the end of your dazzling performance. The speech itself might have been a snore fest but at least you’ll have a polished exit.
• If the speech is followed by questions/answers, it’s OK to come BACK to the podium or front of the room when the applause dies down. You don’t have to stay up there.
• If you are delivering a eulogy or some other solemn address, ditch the smile. Keep your voice and expression solemn and serious at all times. Just emulate a newscaster when they are bringing sad news.
• Legendary Actor Anthony Quinn used this technique to give him confidence before an audience: Imagine a ray of energy emanating from deep in the earth and radiating up through your heels, up your spine, and then throughout your body. Keep this image in the back of your mind as you deliver your lines (er, speech).
• If you have a lot of time to practice, you can develop some gestures. Gestures are better than keeping your hands in your pockets or folded with the fingers laced. However, if your gestures are awkward and distracting, keep your hands in your pockets.
• Watch JFK’s inaugural address for pointers on gestures. JFK invented stabbing your closed hand forward while touching your thumb with your curved forefinger. Every major politician now uses that gesture.
• Think hard before incorporating flip charts or a dry-erase board into your presentation. For one thing, you don’t want to poison the air with the dreadful fumes emitted by dry-erase markers. Eventually you will find yourself talking to your flip chart and not the audience. The audience will be distracted by your scribblings or watching you fumble with your exhibits. Insecure speakers like stage props because they take the focus off them. Whatever best suits you.
• Who better to write your introduction than you? Before your speech, contact the person who will be introducing you and give them your introduction. Unless they are a total creepazoid, they will be thankful that you saved them the chore of drafting your introduction.
• Be conscious of ummms and ahhhs. Speakers use these as filler for pauses, to let people know they haven’t finished their thought. They make you sound hesitant and unsure, however. Too many ummms and ahhhs get to be annoying. It’s OK to let silence intrude on your sentence. When you wean yourself of ummms, ahhhs, and y’knows you will be taking a big step toward effective public speaking.
• Avoid a sing-song delivery, especially the mannerism known as “uptalk.” Uptalk is ending sentences and phrases with a question mark? Not only is it annoying? It makes you sound immature? And very unsure of yourself? No one will be able to stand to listen to you?
• Start writing as if you are creating an essay or informative article. When you are comfortable with your draft, read it aloud. Listen to a recording. The style should be different than a typical essay or article. You can’t have paragraphs that drone on. Rather than pack your talk with boring facts and figures, give them a handout (AFTER your talk). It’s OK to repeat or revisit important points for emphasis.
• The type of event you attend will determine the length of your speech. Consider that the average speaker speaks 100 to 135 words per minute. Below are sample speech lengths:
  • Standard keynote speaker: 18 – 22 minutes (est. 1800 to 2970 words)
  • Motivator: 12 – 15 minutes (est. 1200 to 2025 words)
  • Ceremonial speaker: 5 – 7 minutes (est. 500 to 945 words)
  • News conference: 2 – 3 minutes (est. 200 to 405 words)
  • Wedding toast: 2 – 3 minutes (est. 200 to 405 words)

Warnings

• Don’t be a windbag. Time your speech in a few practice runs. If it goes more than five minutes you had better be a spellbinding speaker. The typical amateur speaker will have the audience checking their watches after about three minutes. Remember, Abe Lincoln only needed a minute or two for the Gettysburg Address.

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. You can edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on wikiHow. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Steps

1. Set a timer for 5 to 10 minutes.
2. Write a topic word or a thought that you would like to explore at the top of your paper, such as education or government. Continue writing words or phrases in list form down the page until your time has run out.
3. Never stop writing. Even if you have to write down an idea that’s completely stupid and wouldn’t work, it’s better than stopping. Your pen should never stop.
4. Assume that no word is self-explanatory. Continue to focus on one topic word until you cannot describe it with any further detail. In other words, take a deeper look at an individual or minute part of a larger whole.
5. As your thoughts slow or become stagnant, begin to review your lists periodically. Previous terms may need further explanation or bring new ideas to the surface.
6. This is also an uncensored practice, so don’t allow for corrections during the brainstorming process.
7. When you are finished brainstorming, re-organize your words and phrases into sequential categories.
8. If you have a sufficient collection of good ideas, begin to work on the rough draft. If more ideas are needed, try other informal invention techniques such as freewriting or mapping.
9. Utilizing a dictionary, search for random words. Close your eyes and place your finger on the page or choose the most attractive word as you scan through the pages. Write these words down as well as any other thoughts that may be in relation to these words.

Tips

• While brainstorming, it can be helpful to listen to classical music or songs without lyrics.
• A few extra writing utensils along with a thick pad of paper ensures for an adequate supply of materials – to continue the flow of your work without interruption.
• Keep going, even if you come across a good idea near the beginning of the brain storm session; as better ideas may come along.
• Don’t immediately dismiss an idea – continue to write and see where your thoughts take you.
• Save your brainstorm as you may need it in the near or distant future.
• Brainstorming can be difficult during the first session. Don’t give up. If it doesn’t work, try again.

Warnings

• Brainstorming is not guaranteed to break the toughest writers’ block, but it should give you an idea of where you are going with your writing process.

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. You can edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on wikiHow. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Whether it’s for a magazine, newspaper, your teacher, or even wikiHow, writing an amazing article whittles down to one widely-adaptable technique. Here’s how to use that technique to your advantage.

Steps

1. Determine your topic. Exactly what are you going to write about? Brainstorm for ideas if you have to. When writing for wikiHow, you may even wish to refer to requested topics for ideas.
2. Figure out who your audience is. Are you writing for a beginner, an intermediate, or an advanced audience? For example, if you are writing an article about “Creating PowerPoint Slides,” are your readers new to PowerPoint, or business people looking for advanced tips?
3. Do your research. How well do you know the topic? Is it something you can write easily about with little or no preparation, or do you need more information from experts in the field?
4. Decide on the length of the article. Teachers, magazines, and newspapers will often give you a limit. wikiHow articles, on the other hand, are often “as long as they need to be and no longer.”
5. Compile a list of possible sources for you to consult. This can include documents, internet research and people to talk to.
6. Write either an outline or a summary of your article. This will help bring the concept of the article into sharper focus.
7. Write the rough draft of the article as follows:
   • Tell your readers what you are going to tell them. This is your introduction. For example:
     • This article explains how to create a PowerPoint slide presentation. It covers the following information: choosing a theme, creating a title slide, and creating topic slides.
     • The information in this article is written for a beginner. The author assumes that you have never used PowerPoint.
   • Tell your readers what you promised to tell them. In this section you tell them how to choose a theme, create a title slide, and how to create topic slides.
   • Tell your readers what you just told them. For example:
     • This article taught you how to create a PowerPoint slide presentation. You learned how to choose a template, how to create a title slide, and how to create topic slides.
8. Check over your piece for presentation.
   • Check for faulty information. Have you double-checked your facts?
   • Delete any unnecessary or contradictory information. The only time you should have information that doesn’t support your topic is if you’re doing a “point-counterpoint” piece.
   • Eliminate anything that is just taking up space. Don’t fill your work with fluff. If you need to do more research, go ahead and do it.
   • Check for grammar and spelling errors.
   • Read it aloud to yourself to make sure the text flows smoothly.
9. Rewrite the article as often as it takes.
10. Turn in your completed article.

Tips

• Neither the outline nor the summary for your article has to be in traditional I, II, III format. The point of formatting is to help you. If you feel you can find your focus by writing a list of incomplete sentences, then go for it. Later, if your teacher wants a formal outline, you can create one from the article itself.
• By checking grammar and spelling errors last in the editing process, you won’t waste any time by correcting those on something you may delete.
• If you’re writing for a newspaper or magazine and are new to professional writing, it’s customary to introduce yourself and your story in a query or pitch letter. Find the name of the editor who will be handling your piece (i.e.; if you’re writing an article about cars for a newspaper, find the name of the car-section editor). This information can be found in the masthead, a box containing the names of the editors, usually found near the front or comment pages of a publication. Write a catchy but brief outline of what your story is about and why that publication’s readership would be interested in it. Also include a few lines about your experience as a writer. The tone of this letter should be professional, but affable and friendly. It is not the place to make demands, or admit your shortcomings as a professional writer. Discussing wages and freelance fees should come after the editor has accepted your pitch.
• If you have no experience as a professional writer, do not start off pitching columns (opinion pieces). Columns are generally reserved for people who have either been working at a publication for a very long time, or for people who have a particular expertise in a field. If you’re new to writing, start small. Think obituaries, human-interest stories and simple news articles. It’s generally easier to start with newspapers than with magazines. Try writing for life, fashion, arts, cars or travel sections before pitching stories to news. These sections tend to be understaffed and therefore have a greater budget for freelance writers.
• If you’re interested in pursuing a career as a writer, be realistic. People who make their living as writers generally start to build their portfolio of published work as early as high school. It generally takes even the most dedicated writer several years before he can make a living off of the trade. In other words, don’t quit your day job. Ease into writing gradually, perhaps doing freelance pieces while maintaining a more stable job part-time.
• Take some courses in both non-fiction and fiction writing. Not only will they help with your work, but also you can make contacts in the business by getting to know your professors and fellow writers. This will help you to be taken seriously when you start pitching articles for publication. Being a good freelance writer means knowing how to write and how to network.
• Make sure your article answers five questions: why, where, when, what and how.

Warnings

• When writing for a newspaper or magazine, do not do so for free. Ask what their freelance fee is beforehand. Your pay will usually be calculated on a per-word basis. Your work is valuable. Writing for free demeans the profession and makes making a living more difficult for those of us who depend on freelance fees to pay the bills. (But if you’re just starting out, volunteering to do some articles for smaller community papers, student publications and trade magazines is a great way to build your portfolio. Be warned that these publications rarely have the money to pay freelancers anyway.)
• Make sure to give yourself plenty of time to write the article. If you don’t, then you’ll be rushing at the last minute to create something that isn’t representative of what you can truly do.
• Do not be a diva. Your work will go through several editors, copy-editors and fact checkers before being published. It will be changed. Pulling a temper tantrum is a surefire way to not be invited to work for that publication again.
• Your reputation as a writer is almost as important as the work you submit, do not make errors or plagiarize. Copying something without attribution is the quickest way to get blacklisted as a writer. Keep your notes and source lists handy so that your editors can verify your work. If you do make a mistake, come clean immediately and apologize profusely.
• Don’t miss deadlines. Generally speaking, a late article is worse than a mediocre one.
• Literary circles are small and gossipy. Don’t say anything bad about a fellow writer or editor, ever. You never know who’s married to whom.

Things You’ll Need

• Something to write with: computer, pen and paper, etc.
• An email account to pitch and submit stories. (Something vaguely professional, no one will take butterflywings23@hotmail.com seriously.)
• Research materials. Either go to your bookshelf, the library or find an expert on the topic.
• Access to a database like Lexus Nexus or factiva. Be sure to see what others have already written on the topic.

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. You can edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on wikiHow. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

On the day of Jackson Pollock’s Birthday,  I was going to google something, I saw the google logo was dedicated to him.

I went to have a quick look on his site. Guess what I got from his site ? This two pictures below !

To get your customize, to be more specific, drawn by you, Jackson Pollick’s work you can visit his site.

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